The Latest & The Greatest.. But of course there is always more to it..

The Latest & The Greatest

Well its mid November and I'm finally moving to Californication... (sorry David Duchovny) but it is the state of big dreams and bigger  disappointments and even better yet,  all the scandals  that the whoremonger's can't wait to stir up or cause and we the sick desperate to believe people love to watch, read and listen to, live. .but of late all eyes and ears are on the great state of Alaska, our last frontier.. 

Anyway, the truck is loaded, we are down to the camping in the living room, saying our last last good-byes and cleaning oh and did i mention cleaning.. ick i hate the move out clean, because no matter how clean you keep your house you find out how clean you really don't keep your house, MAJOR YUCK!!! and poor Todd, he has been awesome, he just keeps on going like the energizer bunny, I could not have done this with out him, me getting as sick as i have and then trying to move, and Zach being as much help as he is not.
BUT THE TRUCK IS PACKED AND WE ARE HEADED OUT, AT THE BUTT CRACK OF DAWN, if i haven't killed Todd by then!!! 

I am one happy flttin flyin high fairy bare daire' aire'!!!
FliT..  fLiT... Flyin towards the California Coast and my precious Redwood Giants... FliT.. fLiT...

~~<~@ *^*@~>~~

Queen of The Thorn Fairy's 

ThornQueen

I wouldnt have believed it if .....

OMG!!!! These dogs are AMAZING!!!!! You have to watch this over and over again just to make sure its not a trick!!!!

Being The Best Possible ME!!

~I know that all I can do is be the best me that I can. And live life with some gusto. Giving back is a big part of that. How am I going to share this experience with the American people? I'm always thinking about that.—Michelle Obama on what she knows for sure~



Being the best me that i can be! What exactly is that? I use to think the best me was what everyone else thought of me, what my parents thought, what my employers thought, what my friends thought, what my spouse thought, and so on and so on and so on... Then I got sick! Then I didn't give a shit what anyone thought, I just felt like shit, I just wanted to be left alone. I got over that one real quick. OK I got off the pity wagon, I had a kid to raise and I needed to find out why I was so ill all the time. I still didn't care what everyone else thought or being the best I could be anymore, that dream had long sailed and any idea of dreaming a new dream hadn't flitted into my little blonde brain yet. I hurt! I was mad! I didn't give a damn about anything, anyone and especially about me! I felt ugly, I was ugly, worthless and above all no one could give me any answers.


Everyone couldn't see a injury, on the outside i looked "normal' on the inside I was a mess. I had 2 strokes by the age of 26, with no explanation, I had lupus, a genetic blood disorder, a gay husband and a 2 yr old son to raise, and that was the start of my chronic illness mishap...


I never could figure out why I was the one with the big target on my chest, why I was the ONE to get all these tribulations... But you know after almost 20 years of dealing with one mishap after another, one disease that I shouldn't have, but did have after another, one failed marriage after another, one drama after another, I AM STILL HERE I AM STILL STANDING!!!! I have survived despite the best efforts of a disapproving, unloving, and uncaring family. I have found the love i so rightly deserved and have been promised. SO THERE!!! To those that told me I was unlovable. Okay so i was wrong about the love, I'm always wrong about the love, maybe I'm meant to be single, that can't be normal, but then again, I've never been normal, so why should my love life be normal. But, I can have one hell of a good time looking for it, right?


I am a walking ball of undefinable distraction, I am notorious, I am thorny, I am artistic, I am mysterious, I am Blonde, I am a veteran, I am disabled, I am a Woman, I am a Mother, I am a friend, I am a Lover, I am just me!!! All balled up into one big frickin mess, but hey I have great friends and one hell of a good time!


So now I sign things just to keep me thinking always on being the best me that i can be.. Me, Myself & Shawneen! Because there are always 3 of me, inside of me and i need to take care of all of them. The "me" is the one you see, the one you all look at, the smile, the glint in my eye, the attitude, the spunk, and all the notorious characteristics of this blonde that I'm famous for. The "myself" is the inside, the lupus, the IBD, the IBS, the blood disease, the abused woman, the rape victim, the veteran, the "self" in here that makes me tick. And if its not OK when you dont see that glint and smile that I've come to find out from some that I'm quiet famous for then screw ya, it's still me. The Shawneen is the whole package the spunk, the sparkle, the artist, the jeweler, the fabulousness that I've come to know and recently love. It's been a hard journey, and sometimes a very bumpy journey but if it had been a smooth and straight road I would not appreciate the outcome quiet as much as the road filled with the sink holes I have traveled.


So today how do I be the best Me I can be and not worry about what other people think, I don't,  and please the only other "being" that matters to me? By doing exactly what plans are laid out form me and not worry about what plans I've laid out for me, because they ALWAYS fail! . But that still doesn't tell ME how to be the BEST ME!


I use to get up and walk everyday and listen to good christian rock music and walk and walk a lot, but since moving and injuring myself, yet again, that hasn't been happening! So now I listen to my inner voices and hope they lead me in the right directions, talk to my trusted friends, and LAUGH A LOT!!! with out laughter there is no joy!
Second, I listen to my body, I have very serious chronic medical conditions and on top of that I have the wildest food allergies that a person could have so I have to watch EVERYTHING that goes into my body. I eat healthy, I am mostly a vegetarian but I do eat chicken and seafood, Cuz I LOVE SEAFOOD and I have to get protein from some where other than beans. Third, I laugh and I laugh often, which means I don't hold on to things that bother me for very long, OKthru I do not sweat the small stuff, I do love to argue a good point, especially with Absolutely Nothing but he's just fun to play with and it's never serious!  Fourth, I keep my friends close and I spend as much time with them as I possibly can and when and if any of them are in trouble they know they can call on me and that I will stand by them thru thick and thin and fight for them no matter what, and I love a good fight and I am passionate about what I believe in and will stand up for it, fight for it, protest for it and even go to jail for the things I believe in or the my friends believe in. Fifth, I have the love of my life finally and he loves to torture me and love me good. AND EVERY WOMAN NEEDS TO BE LOVED GOOD!!! Sixth, I end the day the same way I started  listening to music and talking to those that matter most! 

But, is that still being the best I can be? No I don't think so. I have to do what I was set here to do, but I have found that "thing" yet, I'm looking, I have an idea, I've started but the process is long and hard and I'm terrible at waiting, patience is not one of my virtues! I have a mission and I have to do my best to fulfill that mission. What is that mission? To get my story out to other woman and children and help them get out abusive situations so they can be the best they can be. So here I am on the brink of that mission!!
YIKES AND IS IT SCARY!!! any questions?

Be not Aware of what you see for it may not be quiet what it Seems!

A true friend knows your weaknesses but shows you your strengths; feels your fears but fortifies your faith; sees your anxieties but frees your spirit; recognizes your disabilities but emphasizes your possibilities.” William Arthur Ward

In the early 90's I had 1 major stroke, and 1 modorate stroke. The effects of the stroke weren't the bad part, yes they were pretty devestating and medically speaking at 26 i had the doctors dumb-founded. But, eventually they figured it out. The frustrating part and the agravating part has been to this day I don't look or feel sick! But, I have been on a downward spiral ever since, well it started a few years earlier with an ijury to my back. But, the strokes really messed with my head and my life, because on the outside i look perfectly normal, (ok for a blonde, and lets just leave it at that) but on the inside my body thinks and acts like its 90. What people don't understand with people with debilitating and chronic diseases is that even though we may look normal on the outside but on the inside we hurt, ache and sometimes just want to be taken out and shot like the old family horse. Because believe me if i was a horse they would have shot me a long long time ago!

After the strokes, i withdrew from a society that i had spent the first 24 years of my life in, and they didnt even know i lived there. I wasn't the same person i wasn't the same outgoing, fun, ready to go and do just about anything person i had been. So i just basically disappeared, in a town of 5000! I didnt know how to act, behave, or live. What really sucked is i had a 2 year old son to raise on my own, my doctors advise; "you need to get rid of all the stress in your life" yeah like that was going to happen, single mom, 2 yr old, who had just found out she's had 2 strokes, complex migraines, and lupus. The relaxing thing wasnt going to happen, even if i was a married, mom, with a 2 yr old the stress level would have been crazy, but at my levels it just added to the problem. Yes the old nag would have been taken out to the pasture and been shot! And believe me i would have agreed.

I'm not writing this to bitch, or get sympathy for me, I've just heard the same story from several woman and how ashamed they are to even going to a pain management doctor, why, because they dont "look" sick and no one see's that they are sick so why complain to a doctor, when the ones that are suppose to know and love them most won't even listen or understand them? Why, because that is their damn job and even if we are on state assistance, we are paying the doctors and they need to listen to us! The pain is real, and the illnesses are real! I copied some of the definitions of the diseases from the Stedman's Medical Dictionary. Just in case anyone wanted to check my references. I have a few things i feel very passionate about. One being my health and the treatment i have or have not gotten. Two, abused children, which you will probably hear about. Finally three, and that will be the hardest for me to talk about because it is the closest to my heart, and that is how women who have been raped are treated by society in general.
The common unseen, chronic, embarrassing, discomforting ,diseases that i have come into close uncofortable and sometimes embarassing contact with and that women are afraid to talk about with anyone are fibromyalgia, lupus, IBS,IBD, GERD and i'm sure there are many many others. But her are a few definitions

Fibromyalgia: A common syndrome of chronic widespread soft-tissue pain accompanied by weakness, fatigue, and sleep disturbances; the cause is unknown

Lupus: Systemic lupus erythematosus (lupus, SLE) is an autoimmune disease in which a person's immune system attacks various organs or cells of the body causing damage and dysfunction

IBS: Irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) is a disorder of the intestines. It causes belly pain, cramping or bloating, and diarrhea or constipation. Irritable bowel syndrome is a long-term problem, but there are things you can do to reduce your symptoms

IBD:Inflammatory bowel disease (IBD) is a condition that causes ongoing inflammation of the intestines. The condition can affect only the large intestine (ulcerative colitis) or any part of the entire digestive tract, from the mouth to the anus (Crohn's disease).
Symptoms of inflammatory bowel disease may include abdominal pain, frequent diarrhea that may contain blood or pus, fever, chills, weight loss, and fatigue. The condition may be mild or severe. The inflammation can also affect other parts of the body, such as the eyes or joints, and may cause a form of arthritis.
Inflammatory bowel disease may recur many times in a person's life. It is treated with medications and sometimes with diet changes. If the disease is in remission (not causing symptoms), treatment may not be needed, although medications may help keep the disease in remission. A severe attack may require that the person be hospitalized for treatment. In some cases, surgery may be needed.

GERD: Gastroesophageal Reflux Disease,and for erosive esophagitis, which is GERD-related damage to the esophagus: a syndrome due to structural or functional incompetence of the lower esophageal sphincter (LES), which permits retrograde flow of acidic gastric juice into the esophagus.

Now that we have got the legistics out of the way. :0 lets' get the silliness out of the way! As woman we shouldn't be ashamed of telling doctors that we hurt! We shouldn't be afraid to tell our loved ones we can't do something because we hurt. We shouldn't be afraid to tell our girlfriends all the above, and if we are they shouldn't be our doctor's, friend's or loved ones life is too short to be surrounded by uncaring, unfeeling, unhelpful people when we hurt and are in need of sometimes something as simple as taking the dog for a walk. We shouldn't be ashamed to openly talk about our ache's, pain's and issue's, yes I understand it can be overwhelming and can at times seem at consuming, but you on the other side should spend some time in our skin, IT IS ALL CONSUMING!!! We don't try and be prim-donna's, we'd give anything to go back to a time when we didn't hurt 24/7 and could do anything we wanted with out the consequences of not being able to get out of bed for 3 days.
On the other hand I believe in living life to the fullest come hell or high water and i pay for those choices, but I'm not dead yet and I will have fun until then I have a bucket list and until the time I can't do those fun things that bring enjoyment I plan on fulfilling some of those wild things I want to do. I'm fragile not broken as some of my friends like to say, I don't look at it that way, there are some things I shouldn't do, some things I'll pay for doing, some things I'm gonna do no matter what and some things  I wont do! But all of them I know I'm gonna have to take it easy before hand, rest, eat right, and afterwards I'm gonna have medicate, medicate, rest, rest, bitch, bitch and be happy I did it (I hope), and wait for the soreness to go away!
The other thing is with the fibromayalgia, there is a benefit, and if your in a steady relationship, and have a patient partner, and have done your homework, you know that with fibro every nerve is effected, your pain receptacles are heightened, well so are your pleasure receptacles... I'll leave you with that thought! ;-)

DON'T PISS OFF THE BLONDE

Ok So its been awhile since i've felt the need to get up on my saddle and stand on my horse and preach a little gospel!! Don't worrry I'm not in that mood, yet!! But I am in a mood and you know I am generally the most fair person you could ever meet, just ask anyone that has spent any time with me, but there comes a time that if you cross that line, YOU DONT PISS OFF THE BLONDE!! Well you've gone and done it!! and it's women in general, yes I said women, I told you I am the most fair person you will ever meet. I will male bash with the best of them, but i will also women bash right next to the men, if ya deserve it. And Honey's this time you. And yes I am a woman last time i checked... heheheee ;)

Do we have to go and ruin every man we dump, drop kick, jilt, roll over, reject, or burn? Isn't it enough that during the so called love affair, that they have been sacraficed, invalidated, nuetered, been desecrated, devestated, with held sexual favors, all in the name of love? Does any of this sound like love to you? Would you have liked to be treated like this? Would you like the everlasting affects of these kind of relationships to follow you, your whole life?

The power of that little fricken box between your legs aint everything girls!!! treat a man like you would want to be treated and maybe it might be returned ten fold. Come on!!! GOD gave you a brain to think with use it, not your damn box! Use kindness, gentleness, conversation and communication to make a relationship not blackmail, conniving and scheming to get men to bend to your every need. The damage it does to them is lifelong but the damage it does to yourself worth, self-respect and self-image is the real killer.

Because in the end who do you really want to make truelly happy? Yourself? Right? Becuase if your happy, everyone around you is happy, at least thats the way it works in this blondes world and believe they know if this blondes isn't happy! and yes i've dumped a few men, but not to the extent that i've turned them into whimpering sniveling puppies afraid to come out of thier shells and live again! And if they do take a chance the women that do get involved with them don't have to seek counseling or shelter!

So Dont piss of any blondes! You never know who's ex-girlfriend the guy might have had that will come lookin for you, for realling TURKING UP her friend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(i dont use that bad word anymore) How dare some of you women feel that you have the right to just screw with someones heart, mind, soul and life for years, all in the name of love! You need to seek professional help! It does wonders, believe me i know ive been & out of it for years, with a good counselor, otherwise I might be a psyco blonde and who knows what i might do!! (Just Kidding) but I am that PISSED!!! Messing with some ones mind should be a criminal offense. There is no difference between physical abuse, mental abuse, finacial abuse or sexual abuse; and that can be in the form of with holding it from your significant other in the means of attempting to get them to do something,be something, or act in some way you want them to.

You know men have the label as being the real bastardly beast, but women we have them beat we just don't get the notoriety or the punishment that the men do. I have known some really mean and cruel men, who have done some really unspeakable hurtful things that have taken me and their other sources of abuse years and years to get over and most of them have all served some form of punishment (professional), and some of it not necessarily warranted. I have also known just as many women, who to be quiet honest, have put the men to shame becuase the men may have the brute strength, but we women have our intellegence and when we it goes astray it can be sick and depraved and dark. Woman can be menatally, pysically, financially and sexually abusive without the men even knowing it, well at least at first. We all get smart after a while.... some longer than others but eventually we all get out, one way or the other.

But my point is the women i have known, none of them have been punished (professionally) because the system sees women in most cases as the lesser of the evils and the men made us do it!!! BULLSHIT!!! ever play the game bullshit, the winner is who ever can lie the best. OK, who are the best liars? WOMAN!! We fib, white lie, tell whoopers, We are story tellers and tricksters, (oh those last two we use on our kids and men either to catch them or to put them to sleep). Everyday of our lives, or at least most of us do ues some form of a lie, to someone, the woman that you worry about are the ones who have made it an art form and those are the dangerous ones. They can hide anything, tell you anything to make you believe it, be your friend one minute and turn around and stab you in the back the next!! So I feel we as woman, have an upperhand on the men, not saying that men are dumb, becuase they aren't, their abuse is usually stemmed from and early childhood trauma and or treatment.. ummm oh anyone getting a hint??? yeah you got it!!! mothers, who didnt know how to raise a family, fathers that didnt know how to handle out of control anger, who were mistreated as children. Its a vicious circle that unless something is done and done soon, its not going to go away and its going to get worse!!!

Abuse in all forms not just child abuse, parental, spousal, ALL ABUSE needs to be adress on a national level, but lets start small, pay attention to your friends, your family, your lover, your neighbor; if you see something that doesn't look or sound right ask questions. Be a friend, listen, learn to communicate not argue, find a good counselor. ANYTHING TO GET HELP!!!

Ok i think im done!!!!maybe!!! @~>~~~>~~~ :=) ~~~<~~~<~@

There are Friends and then THERE ARE FREINDS!!

“Flatter me, and I may not believe you. Criticize me, and I may not like you. Ignore me, and I may not forgive you. Encourage me, and I will not forget you. Love me and I may be forced to love you.”
William Arthur Ward

I found this quote on a relative’s facebooks page by this author and I found that I really like this gentleman's point of view! I've read several of his quotes and man they hit you Right Square in the eye!

In the last few weeks I have discovered and rediscovered some very interesting things and have reconnected with some very special friends from High School and have been having mini reunions on a daily basis's. But I also have found out some very sad things too!One of them being that, one of my best friends in the whole world is over in that evil evil place fighting for our country! I believe in our MEN & WOMEN over there and have up until this point been VERY VERY LUCKY not knowing anyone personally close to me over there! Until now!

Anyone that knows me knows that I have a very opinionated view about what should happen to those countries that, we are currently wasting our precious resources, time, money, and people on; or to those who had ANYTHING to do with the attacks on 9/11. I also believe in our government and the leadership of it, not that it always does the right thing, BUT IT IS NOT ONE MAN or WOMAN'S decision, and I wish we the people understood that. Maybe if we weren't so quick to blame THE person in charge and took some responsibility for the shape of the corruption of our ELECTED politicians, we would have less to complain about, and more to be proud of. We are, after all, supposed to be America the Proud! Which I still am, and if my health was good, and at my age I would go back in the service, like my friend did, for the good his family.

My belief, and it is MY belief is that if the education system, had not gone to the "new method" of teaching and would go back to education, and classes like AMERICAN GOVERNMENT like what was taught in the 80's maybe a lot of people would understand the process it takes to run a nation like the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA and what it takes to get a Bill thru the senate and congress and finally to the President to either get vetoed or signed into a Bill. Or maybe the decision process it takes for the President to decide to go to war against another nation, even if He decides to go against the United Nations, it’s not just one Man's yeah or neay. Ever wonder why the President ages so much in 4 years?

OK, I'm off my Saddle! I warned you! Every once in awhile I would get on my saddle, stand up and rant and rave!! Well this is one time and one issue that gets me riled up every time!! I'd really like to nuke most of that whole area, and make a big parking lot and let all those big box stores move in!! But I was nice! OK maybe not! But I had a really good day yesterday and decided to wait a day or two before I went off on this!

So Brian if you read this, this one is for you! And BUDDY TAKE CARE AND I MISS YOU AND YOU ARE IN MY PRAYERS EVERYDAY!!!!

CONVELASTING

Well Its been 3 weeks since my surgery and I'm bored, tired, and pissed! Ok maybe not pissed.. Fed up! I absolutely detested having to beg freinds for rides to the store, which is 3 blocks away!! Just because I can't drive! It is Awful!

Now, I have fallen behind in my college work becuase my head is so stinkin' foggy from this surgery! If i just happen to move my head the wrong way, I am in pain, maybe not pain but it's a feeling like being knocked to your knees by a baseball bat! Ever have that feeling? rrrr it is so aggervating!
I remember as a kid getting hig by a bat under the chin... OMF (and that is frickin') G (gosh) I am trying to turn over a new leaf.. (hehehe) knock you to your knees, tears in your eyes, dizzy, cant get a straight thought in your head!!!! Well thats the feeling i get if i so happen to turn my head, to fast or just a little bit to far, or just if it doesnt like something I'm doing!!! Then if I am going around the house without one of my braces for too long, my head gets to heavy ( i know weird) but it does and then i really get dizzy! Oh and then you want to hear a good one? I live in a townhouse! Well i've been feeling pretty good this weekend, and i was "hurring" up the stairs (yeah dumb) and i stumble when i get to the top, i catch myself but it jars my neck.. Yep you guess it, back to square ONE!!!! RRRRR

Sometimes, I wonder why I like being single, but then I listen to my friends complain and I remember why! But, I sure wish i lived closer to some of my friends!!! cuz my family sucks!! You'd think my sister would come and at least check on me once in awhile.. NOPE! She gives me her dog to look after ...luv ya chica .. but gee! My sister had not been to come to check on me once, or to see her dog, She has a new boy toy, He is 29, she is 40!!! She did finally come and get her dog, after a month of me having her. I had to practically beg her to take me to the pet store.

You Know You Can Not Pick Your Family, But You Can Definatily Pick Your Friends!! And I've had some of my Friends for well over 4o years!!!

Gettin' On My Horses & Takin' a STAND!!!!

When do we as woman realize it is not the men that make us happy?? that comes from within! Only we can make ourselves happy! and thenat that point can we as complete satisfied women allow them, (Men), to be in our worlds. They are to be looked at as an added bonus, not a necessity or a required piece to complete a picture. and then when we are at that point do we add them (Men) as a bonus, and only the special ones, they are the ones that honor us with respect and honesty and love. Only then do we allow them to enter into our worlds.

Other than that fuck'em if they cant take a joke, and joke'em if they cant take a fuck!!!

Beattle Juice Beattle Juice Beattle Juice!!!

Well I still feel like Beattle Juice! My head feels like its held on my nuts, bolts and screws, Yesterday I was getting ready to go somewhere, and i didnt do anything out of the ordinary, i didn't hit anything, i didn't shake my head, nothing, but take the towel off my hair and OMG I felt like, You know when you were a kid or maybe even an adult, if you ever came down on your chin and hit it really hard, my only memory of this is like hitting the desk at Burger King when I was the Evil Night Manager and we had to put these evil tapes in the machines that stored all the data, well the machines were WAY WAY up on the top shelf, and you had to crawl on a stool on top of the desk, which really just was a tall boob heigth shelf, stand on it and on my tippy toes put the damn tape in, well on my way down, i slipped and came down like, you guess it a ton of bricks!! and hit my abdomen and then my chin! OUCH #$&)#$@&%*@&$#() and every other word! well this lovely feeling is how i feel every time i move my head wrong!! and it brings me to my flippin' knees!! and it makes for a really tough morning and a really lousy day, ok only if i do it repeatedly.. thus the BEATTLE JUICE!!!

Yesterday was a BEATTLE JUICE DAY! and i couldnt stop doing it.!!! and then to top it off, my sista, who is only a sista by bold, cuz no sista would treat a dog the way she treats someone when she only has use for them when she wants something from them! Was suppose to come up and take me to town to pay bills, grocery shop, You know make sure I'm ALIVE!! Guess what? Im not! I'm just a babysitter for her flippin handicapped dog! (she's deaf and got behavior issues) I get an email around 9pm saying sorry we'll do it tonight! BITCH!

Then, Do you ever wonder why some stores have customer service desk, or brag about their customer service? I dont know about where you live, but Central Oregon, is the worst place i have ever lived for customer service, and its not just the small mom and pop stores, its the big chains stores that come in here too!

Lets just say after i get my Toshiba back from Best Buy, I dont care if they are giving away a flat screen tv, i wont ever take anything in there for repair again, and i wont buy anything from there again.. 15 minutes on the phone just to get someone to answer, thats ring after ring. The first time, and then that guy puts me on hold for the GEEK SQUAD and no one ever comes to the phone. Then its another 7 minutes of ring after ring and i get some one on the phone i ask for the STORE MANAGER and i have to wait another 5 minutes and I explain that this was the worst case of customer service i have ever experienced His answer was, they on normal days, only have 1 (one) person answering the phones. and i asked about the GEEK SQUAD not having working phones and he said that he was sorry and what could he do and i said i wanted to check on the status of my laptop, He took another 7 minutes, thats after i gave him the tracking number (GEEK SQUAD tracking number) for my laptop to see when it was going to be delivered. He did not apologize, for the lenght of time that the phone was not answered, or that i was put on hold and no one picked it up. Just that this was normal procedure! NOT IN MY BOOK OR IN MY CHECK BOOK!

The next case of CRAPPY OMG CRAPPY customer service is the HERTZ car rental in BEND, OREGON!!! My sista, had reserved a 4 wheel drive truck 3 weeks before she needed, she was not going to pay with it, with a credit card or a debit card, so she did not need to read the little and I DO MEAN LITTLE BOX that says "if paying here with debit or credit card please read" she was going to pay cash after she dropped the car off. We went down on her lunch hour to get her car, and i was taking her car, cuz again i was taking her dog and her kid. We sat there for well over her lunch hour because the JERK sales men and asst manager said that she could not rent the vechicle, 1. because she had an out of state license.. how do business people rent cars when they travel? 2. She had torn up all her credit cards and was going to pay cash when she was done using the DAMN TRUCK. 3. and this hertz didnt take debit cards. So we thought Id rent the damn thing! They wont rent to me 1. I get SSI (SO F'n what does that have to do with having a drivers license and a credit card) 2. My credit card doesnt have enough to hold the vechile.. Mind you they dont tell us how much they need on the credit card, to hold it, just that there isnt enough. 3. My debit card is empty. So carmen calls a friend from work, 1. she has ODL, 2. she has credit card with money... Not enough. it has to have 200$ pluse the amount of the rental to hold the car... WE ARE ALL FUMING!! its freezing its almost 5pm, and these guys are being complete ASSES!! wont help us find another rental, wont budge an inch, wont even let us borrow a phone book!! THANK GOD for my palm and instant internet!!! I get all the car rental places in Bend and Redmond and find one that has a 4 wheel drive, or all wheel at this point, will take a debit card and a ODL and not have to have a $500 limit to hold the DAMN TRUCK that we are going to pay cash for when she is done using it!

Thank YOU BUDGET!!! at the RIVERHOUSE LODGE!!! for 1. staying open and waiting for us 2. for having great custmore service!! 3. for dealing with my sista!

Running around Like a blair witch

OK Having this neck surgery was a good thing? right? some one please tell me it was! Because i really am feeling like my head is spinning around in circles, like a Blair witch! I feel that if i don't have that damn Uncomfortable brace on, my head is going to fall off, or come loose at the nuts, bolts, and screws and spin uncontrollably! and no that is not funny!! OK maybe it is! But its not right now. And this hurts! I don't know if my lower back surgery hurt as bad, or maybe i wasn't consciences enough by now to know if if hurt. But this hurts, You cant swallow, because they went in there and moved your whole lynx and esophagus around so everything is swollen and it hurts to eat ice cream, now that is just plain against the American Constitution! OK well it should be! Its as American as Apple Pie, and i know for sure i cant eat that! Just the other day, it took me over an hour to eat "A" and i do mean a, as in ONE small peace of white pizza. I know it was dumb, but liquids get REAL BORING REAL FAST!! So my head is spinning out of control and one of my HS (high school) buddies who i have recently gotten back into contact with thanks to FACEBOOK (yeah facebook) thinks it just hilarious to make me giggle. Its not~~ It hurts like a mofo!! and i do mean bad! But he will get his.. I just want to know that if they told anyone all the after affects of a surgery would anyone get one??? I mean, come one honestly? After i had my lower back fused, i was feeling at the top of my world.. until Winter hit, and the frigid cold set in and that wonderful titanium that they stuck down my back felt like they Jabbed a slab of ice right threw my back and there was no way of ever getting it warm! But you know what my doctor with the bed side manner of a rattle snake said " what if i told you, you were the first one to tell me that?" and my answer to him, was you be lying. and he said," yeah, your right your not" rrrr they aggravate me so much with their god complexes. SO now I'm thinking, if me wondrous doctor had told me that i wasn't going to be able to swallow much more than ice or sleep except for sitting up for the next 6 to 8 weeks would i have had this surgery done? hmm ill have to get back to you in 6 to 8 weeks~ cuz right now HELL NO!

I have a threrory

I've come to realise that when I'm down, happy, frustrated, or in any kind of funk, I go shopping, but not just any kind of shopping, there is only one kind of shopping that can fix the blues. SHOE SHOPPING! and i have the closet's to prove it. My next idea is to organize them, some way, to keep them in their neat pretty little boxes, so i don't have to dig thru them all to see which ones i want to wear, and which boxes Ive just kept and shoved something else in there. Its a girl thing believe me! or at least i hope it is.. i have yet to come across a man with as many shoes as me or my sister! and she has tubs of them. I have no earthly idea how she keeps them straight!

But to my down fall and to the down fall of my wallet there is now in my town of residence a place to every shoe lovers dream. Its called the the Pink Shoe!! and OMG! it has shoes in every color, shape, and delicious design a girl with a fetish for shoes can imagine. You will see several of their shoes here.

But this is not just a blog about my shoe fetish and what I've done with them. Its about me, my life, and everything in it. But hey i had to start some where. Didn't i?